it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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