I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
