If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Less talking, more tequila
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
