can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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