grandma shit on top of the toilet
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
