just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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