Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
