walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
