And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Send help, water and tortillas.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
