Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
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