If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
