There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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