it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
