Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
