I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so let's talk penis.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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