She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize