Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize