My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
