He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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