Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize