Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
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I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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