The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
