I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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