This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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