I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize