Having a random hookup so left but love u
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
