I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need water and some morals
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
