is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And then he peed in my hair
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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