i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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