I want you more than these girls want KFC
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
