Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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