are you still at the devil's house?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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