He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
