Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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