I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
