sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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