So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Buhtt sex?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
