You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
