Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
