Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
