how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
