ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
