Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Watching her eat just hurts me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
