That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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