Life is so much better after having sex.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
