Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
