my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
4 words: hood of his car
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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