The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
