she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
