I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize