Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
