hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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