I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
