Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
