I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
