STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.