k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?