You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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