oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
