Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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