Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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