When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
