I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
